Mulally’s Thoughts en Route to D.C.

For this round of begging Congress for salvation, Alan Mulally drove to Washington, D.C., in a Ford Escape Hybrid. This time he would show Congress he really means well and regrets past grandstanding by showing up in Ford’s corporate jet, which is the blatant, unacceptable symbol of excess (even though Ford had it’s own airline in the 1920s, using Tri-Motor planes that Ford had developed and flying mail and personnel around between Buffalo, Cleveland, Detroit and maybe Chicago, in which cities the company had plants); in fact, if not for Ford, commercial aviation in this country might not have “gotten off the ground” until after World War Two!

An agent of Baggy Paragraphs Company surreptitiously placed an ultrasensitive monitoring device in the Escape, and it recorded Mr. Mulally’s thoughts, as follows:

“Gee, I sure hope Barney Frank doesn’t run out from this stand of trees and cross in front of the car. I’d hate to have a distinguished Congressman smash through the windshield.”

“Why don’t we make a Lincoln hybrid? That would have to be a lot more pleasant than this Escape.”

“I asked P.R. if I could tow a mobile billboard with the slogan, ‘Averaging 35 mpg and lowering our carbon footprint.’ The product guy told me the trailer would be too heavy and this thing can’t do it. I didn’t realize there was that trade-off with the hybrid version.”

“Gee, I sure hope a congressional committee doesn’t run out of the woods and cross the road in front of me. That would be a mess. Was the windshield washer fluid reservoir filled up before they sent me off from Dearborn?”

“Oh, oh! I’m getting low on gas! It was really dumb to pledge that I’d work for a dollar a year, because I won’t be able to afford a fill-up, more or less a candy bar.”

“I’m almost there. How will I tip the valet at the Mayflower? Good thing I made a reservation under the name of Frank Barney—that’ll keep the press from finding out where I stayed.”

“Hey, was that Hillary Clinton hitchhiking back there? I wonder if she’d like to ride in a hybrid.”

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