Bigfoot proves susceptible to Russian sage and a pair of kids

Going for a walk the other afternoon, I strolled past a home where the family recognizes me. They live right at the opening of Hidden Valley Drive. The little brown-haired girl, seven, and blond-domed boy, five, were playing in the yard. She was picking stems of Russian sage, while saying to him, “Oh, you have a boss? That’s so yesterday!”

Sasquatch, the Legend of Bigfoot

Seeing me go by, she said, “What are you doing?”

I was carrying my baseball, which I bounce off of sloped driveway entrances, so I juggled it for them and said, “I’m taking my baseball for a walk.”


“What are you doing?”

“Making a trap for Bigfoot.” She turned and pointed to the slope of the canyon, which is covered with live oaks.

“Really?” I said. “What are you going to do if you catch him?”

The little boy said, “Kill him.” This harsh declaration was a bit of a shock. “You would?”

“Kill him,” he continued, “and take him into the city to show that he’s real.”

So I guess the Russian sage must be considered an effective bait. A Bigfoot preservation campaign would begin with the eradication of Russian sage from all gardens. Meanwhile, I’ll let you know if they succeed. The little boy insisted I’d have to come to the exposition.

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