Breakfast with all the trimmings, including pet peeves and a hog’s squeal

South Haven, Mich.—At breakfast this morning in Captain Nemo’s restaurant, I overheard the talk of two men, one of whom had already distinguished himself by saying, “You can use every bit of a hog but the squeal.” In fact, he did most of the talking. But late in the session, the other one listed his pet peeves:

  1. Socks with open-toe sandals
  2. Low-powered motor scooters on the highway
  3. Motorcycles towing trailers (“If you need that much shit, get a convertible.”)

Then he told of the ultimate. He had seen a low-powered motor scooter going 30 mph on the highway, towing a trailer, and the rider wore sandals and socks.

The every-bit-of-the-hog-but-the-squeal man said, “Did you hit him?”

No reply.

Maybe time to check some cold case files?

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