How a newspaper carrier can be the ultimate test of tropical fruit

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Dear Wall Street Journal Carrier:

When you roll the newspaper into a baton, it is without a doubt easier to hurl from your vehicle.

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But what about the user experience?

Have focus groups shown your customers prefer this collection of curls and crinkles, this conga line of a news compendium?

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It is more than a handful. Imagine turning through this untamed mess to B7.

Or worse, having to read it on a plane.

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I have to flatten out the paper by methods equaling yours in crudity.

And what do you suppose happens when I run out of mangoes?

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